On Motherhood

The day has finally arrived. Another graduation. It's hard to believe that in a few short hours I will be saying "goodbye" to some fine young people, possibly for the last time. As much as I might like to think otherwise, I realize that I will probably never see some of them again.

It's a strange, bittersweet feeling. Strange, because these are not actually my children and yet I feel almost as if they were. For anyone who is an older single person in the field of education, you will probably understand this feeling.

Yesterday I was in a local store looking at greeting cards and was confronted with the "Mother's Day" selection. I realized, with some sense of regret, that I will probably never receive a Mother's Day card nor hear someone call me Mom. Of course, God may change that and allow me to be a mother some day, but I'm choosing not to dwell or count on it.

One of the greatest things about being an educator in an academic setting is that I have many wonderful opportunities to impact the lives of other people's children. I have come to care tremendously for the students that the Lord brings into my world and I'm thankful that I have the chance to teach them and help mold and prepare them for the larger world. I get to teach them how to do research for their projects and papers, rejoice with them when they do well and exhort them to greater effort and higher goals. I get to listen to their struggles and lend them a sympathetic ear and to cheer for them when they excel.

Not long ago, I was startled when one young international lady said to me, "You remind me of my mom." At first I was a bit put off, because I was feeling "old", then I realized what a compliment that was! Motherhood is, in many ways, a state of mind; one that involves encouragment, exhortation, sacrifice, love, commitment and imparting strong moral and biblical values. It is also a choice

Yes, I may not ever have biological children of my own. When I look around me, though, and see all the wonderful young people who are in my life, in my library and often in my house, I realize that I have been given the blessing of being, in many ways, a surrogate "mother" to many children. I am among women truly blessed.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

As we approach the end of the semester, I have been talking with a number of students about their plans for the summer and the future. A number of my "regulars" in the library are graduating this week. Over the past few days many of them have made comments about seeing the "light at the end of the tunnel." They are glad to be finished with their studies and excited about their future. Although I must admit that I will miss them very much, I can't help but feel excited for them.

How well I remember the excitement I felt when I was at the same point in life! It's a complex feeling of accomplishment, nostalgia, excitement, relief and a little trepidation all rolled into a glowing ball that seems to fill every atom of your being and ooze out your pores! At the time, I believed that I'd never really feel that way again.

I was right. There truly is nothing exactly like the feeling that I experienced upon graduating from college with my B.A. and preparing to face the world for the first time, in many respects, as that wonderous and empowered being -- an adult.

I was also wrong. Over the years since that day I have experienced a number of major milestones in the journey of my life, including: starting graduate school, finishing graduate school, moving to another country, working in another country, moving back to the U.S. after an absence of several years, starting grad school again and graduating for a third time. Through all of these, God has blessed me with His presence and with new and equally exciting experiences.

Each milestone had its own "ups" and "downs" and its own blessings. Each one has served to remind me that the longer I follow God and the more I trust in Him, the better life will be. Just like the foothills and mountains in which I now love, every mountain and valley, every twist in the road of life brings new beautiful scenery. All I have to do is look up from the road and enjoy it.

It reminds me of the first stanza of a poem by Robert Browning:
"Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
the last of life for which the first was made.

Our times are in his hand
who saith, 'A whole I planned,
youth shows but half;
Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'"

"Rabbi Ben Ezra" http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poem/295.html

Unexpected Blessings

You know how you can be going along in life with everything proceeding smoothly and then, suddenly, you have one of those days of "unexpecteds"? Well, Monday was a day of "unexpecteds" for me. Or, more precisely, Monday evening was. I went in to work at the normal time and was planning to attend a meeting at a local church over my supper break.

This was a meeting of a mission team that is going to Romania in May. One of my colleagues is the leader of the team and had previously invited me to attend another meeting to teach the group a bit about Romanian culture and language. When he asked me to come to the second meeting I was quite pleased to do so and promptly wrote it on my calendar.

Monday afternoon I made sure to print enough copies of a handout that I'd prepared and, when the time came, I hurried out of the building towards my car. It was then that I encountered the first "unexpected." A scattering of raindrops spangled the exterior of my car and, almost before my brain could process the fact that it had rained, my breath was taken away by the sight of an enormous, brilliant and absolutely gorgeous rainbow spanning the sky over the foothills in front of me! To the left, it stood out against a backdrop of dark clouds and to the right it shone out against a bright blue sky with a couple of fluffy-looking cumulus clouds. Wow!

Naturally, I paused to snap a couple of pix with my phone camera, then hopped in my car and zoomed off to my meeting. Upon arriving at the church I experienced the next "unexpected" when there was nobody there! I waited for a few minutes and then, deciding that I must have made a mistake in the date or time (I discovered later that they'd changed the location and forgot to tell me), I headed back to campus. I must admit that I was a bit frustrated, but I wasn't sure whether to direct that at myself or my colleague.

It was on the way back to campus that I received the third "unexpected." I remembered that our men's football (soccer) team was playing a scrimmage match and realized that I would pass right by the stadium. I decided to turn in and stop there for a few minutes. So... in one evening I experienced:

* the unexpected blessing of a beautiful rainbow
* the unexpected disappointment of a missed meeting
* the unexpected blessing of a few minutes to watch a football match

Ain't God great?!? That evening was a good reminder to me of how often the Lord blesses me in unexpected ways .... Now if I can just keep remembering that!

Excellent Reading

One of the cardinal philosophies by which I try to live my life is the idea that you'll never get anywhere or achieve anything worthwhile in life if you don't set goals for yourself.

I try to begin each year by setting at least a few goals for myself and then work to achieve them throughout the seasons. I also sometimes set other goals as I go along. I mean, we all know that life doesn't always go the way we planned, right? That's one of the things I like about life in general and life as a Christian, in particular. God doesn't let us get bored! Sometimes He makes it very clear to us that there are things we need to work on or things we need to accomplish.

I must admit that I don't always like those goals, nor do I always find the striving towards them to be a pleasant experience. Nevertheless, I know that I can trust Him that they are good and necessary goals.

There are other times when I set goals for myself and trust that the Lord will let me know if it's ok to proceed with them or if I need to redirect.

Okaaay, you say, "So what are these goals of yours for 2009?" Well, some of them are pretty personal and things I don't need to share, but some are fair game.

One of my goals for 2009 is to read at least 120 books. They can be of any genre and my "To be Read" list continues to grow (I think the last total is 132), but I am making progress.

Book number 37 for the year was an excellent one titled "The Cellist of Sarajevo," by Steven Galloway. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has any interest in world history, current events, international politics or any other related topic. Galloway has written an outstanding historical fiction account based on events during the siege of Sarajevo in 1991-92.

This book made me want to read more about Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, the war and all of the various people groups involved. I feel like it gave me a small glimpse into the lives of several individuals living under those horrible conditions and the sacrifices they made.

I was saddened to learn this morning that Vedran Smailovic, the Sarajevan cellist whose actions were part of the inspiration for the novel, is apparently very angry about the book. From what I read on TimesOnline, I'm not certain whether he's angry because of the attention that the book is getting and bringing to him in his quiet home/life in Ireland, because Galloway didn't seek him out and consult him before writing the book or because the author hasn't offered him a share in the royalties.

Galloway has responded that, while Smailovic and his actions were obviously the inspiration for the character of the cellist (who has no name in the book), the story of his actions was common knowledge arround the world. He also says that he merely used the story that he had heard as a starting inspiration and that he also interviewed more than 25 other people and utilized a wide variety of resources in his research for the book.

While I can understand that the seige, the war and the trials that Mr. Smailovic experienced must have been very painful and that it would be very unpleasant to be reminded of them, I have to say that I think Mr. Galloway's book is doing a good job of waking some people up and educating them about those same experiences. Does it really convey the horror and turmoil of that time? No. No words on a page can ever accurately describe man's inhumanity to man or the horror of many things that we experience. What those words can do, however, is awaken more of us from our apathy and make us aware that things like that have happened and are happening and, hopefully, inspire us to take action to keep them from happening in the future.

TimesOnline story: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article4083037.ece

New Music musing

The state of modern music in the U.S. and the world has been a continued source of consideration and concern in the garden of my life in recent days, weeks and months. It seems that every time I turn on the radio (or at least every other time) I am reminded of the paucity of originality and thought in popular music of the 21st century.

Now, it's not that I think music is totally going down the tube in recent history. It does seem to me, however, that there is a plethora of semi-talented groups and individuals in the U.S. who have gained popularity in America and the world but have very little musical ability and even less originality. We have been deluged with pop-star-wannabes who all sound the same and whose lyrics have 1.)absolutely no sensible meaning, 2.)a fluffy semi-sensible one, or 3.) an extremely worldly and unhealthy one.

Fortunately or unfortunately, music is truly a universal language and it spreads from country to country rapidly, especially through the internet. It's also one of the media that people around the world use to develop their image or perception of different countries and cultures. I have found myself wondering lately about the accuracy of the images that we are portraying to the rest of the world through our music. If you listen to the popular music from your home country, is it really presenting to the rest of the world the image of your country and people that you want others to have? If so, that's good for you. If not, what are you going to do about it?

Recently, I was chatting with a Romanian friend and student about all things Romanian and the topic turned to music. Both of us are quite familiar with a wide range of contemporary Romanian music groups. Some of them have, unfortunately, succumbed to the craze for empty, nonsensical, or fluffy lyrics. My friend recommended to me several Romanian musicians and groups and I decided to go online and try them out. I was VERY pleasantly surprised. I'm not going to mention all of them here, but you may see them pop up in future posts. One that I found very noteworthy is Adi Gliga. Even if you don't understand Romanian, I'd recommend that you give him a listen on YouTube. His songs are very interesting from both a music and lyrics standpoint. Some have English translations, too! Even if you don't understand Romanian, give him a shot. I'm sure glad that I did!

I'm Back!

Wow! I can't believe I've made it back online! I've been trying to and wanting to get back to my blog for months, but so far had no success. This time, I did! This has been one interesting year. In some ways, I feel as if I have been to hell and back during these past months. Of course, I realize that hell is actually a much worse place than I could ever imagine and I would NEVER want to even contemplte going there! I have, however, been through the fire and experienced a bit of testing and refining, particularly because of certain individuals at my now-former place of employment. During the last eight months of my time there I was lied to, lied about, subjected to intense scrutiny and wrongly blamed for the mistakes of at least one of my coworkers. The best part of all this, however, is the lesson I learned. God is faithful in good times and bad and sometimes He allows us to go through the hard times to remind us that He is always in control.

Ugly Americans

Recently, in the course of my work, I came across a book titled "Hating America." As I'm sure the authors intended, the title of this work immediately grabbed my attention. I began to wonder if the authors, themselves, hated America and perhaps this was their particular diatribe against the things they disliked. Although I have yet to actually read the entire book, I scanned it enough to learn that it is actually a commentary on the history of anti-Americanism. The authors begin with 9/11 and go back through the centuries since the founding of the United States of America to look at the various groups that have hated (or at least seriously disliked) America and their given reasons.

These reasons have been many and varied, ranging from our foundation on Judeo-Christian religious principles to economic prosperity to political and military power to our government's perceived imperialistic attitude towards other countries and peoples. The one that I find the most amazing and distressing is the "Ugly American." No, I'm not talking about someone's great-uncle Horace who has the general physical appearance of a constipated gargoyle with a bad case of acne! After all, real beauty comes from the inside, not the outside. Rather, I'm referring to the person who seems to have an exaulted opinion of both themselves and all things "American" and a very low opinion of anything that is other than "American." In this person's eyes, anything that is not American is "stupid" and somehow inferior. The way Americans do things is the "right" way (by "Americans" they generally mean other individuals from their paticular community or part of the country) and the way persons from other cultures do it is wrong, unless they do it the way Americans do.

This attitude applies both to internationals who immigrate to the United States or come as tourists and to the local citizens of other countries that these Americans happen to visit. If an Eastern European comes to America and blows his car horn when the traffic light turns green, he's automatically being rude. If the Ugly American goes to England, those traffic roundabouts are ridiculous and confusing. Why in the world don't they just have normal traffic signals? Food that is not "American" is weird or just plain gross and everyone else in the world is supposed to speak English so that the Ugly American can make his (or her) demands known with as little inconvenience as possible. The idea of actually taking the time to try to learn a few words of the language and a little about the culture and history of the place they are visiting seems to be incomprehensible to this person. American English is the best language, American food is the tastiest and, of course, the way Americans think is the "right" way.

I have to ask myself, "Where do these people think America and American language and culture came from?" If we can credit the research done by generations of biologists, anthropologists and archaeologists, every people group currently represented in the Americas (North and South) originally immigrated from somewhere else. Even the Native American or First Nations peoples are descended from ancestors who immigrated across the Bering land bridge centuries ago. What we know as the United States of America and "American" language and culture are composites of a myriad of other languages and cultures, the majority of which have a much longer history than our measly 250 years (350 if you count the earliest European settlers). We owe a great debt of gratitude to these cultures and their representatives who have immigrated to the US over the centuries and made our country what it is today.

Don't get me wrong, I love my home state and country and am very thankful that I was blessed to be born and reared here. I am proud of many aspects of our history and the multiple cultures that are "American." I also enjoy doing things in the ways that are traditional in my southern American native culture. What I really dislike is the Ugly Americans who behave in such a way as to bring shame upon our culture and country. This picture brings to mind a prime example of the Ugly American.

This is the beautiful "Castelul Peles" (Peles Castle), which is located near Sinaia in the Carpathian Mountains (a.k.a. Tansylvanian Alps) of Romania. A few years ago, when I was living in Romania, I had the occasion to visit Peles with a friend. Because my friend did not speak Romanian, we went on the English-language guided tour. Our companions on this tour were all members of a group of American university scholars who were visiting Romania as part of some sort of European academic tour. Over the next hour I chatted in Romanian with the tour guide and in English with my friend as the three of us tried to ignore the rude comments made by various members of this group. Our guide worked hard to give us a good tour, but his job was made much more difficult because of the behavior of this group of Ugly Americans. They laughed at the artwork, derided what they perceived to be the frivolous use of national funds to build such an extravagant palace when the country was so poor and generally made increasingly rude and obnoxious remarks about the castle, Romania and Romanians.

My friend and I were so embarassed that I turned to our tour guide and apologized to him for the egregious behavior of these Ugly Americans. He gave me a puzzled look and asked "Why are you apologizing? Your'e not American!" At that point, I was sorely tempted to lie and say "You're right, I'm not!", but I decided that I had to be honest, no matter how embarassing it was. I enformed the guide that I was, indeed, American and then turned to address the Ugly Americans. They actually seemed surprised when I dared to take exception to their rude behavior and remarks! When I told them the true history of Peles, their response was "Well, we didn't know that." I suggested that the next time they were in another culture, they should make sure they knew the facts before making uniformed and rude comments. They reacted in puzzlement when I told them that their behavior made me ashamed to admit that I was American. They didn't even bother to apologize to my friend and I or the guide for their nasty comments or their behavior!

The saddest part of this situation is that they seemed to neither know nor care that their behavior and comments were so rude and unacceptable. They actually seemed to think that they were in the right. Unfortunately, these individuals are not alone in their beliefs. There are many Americans who may seem to be model citizens as long as they are with their own family and friends in their own little community, but become rude, overbearing, demanding, boorish and crass Ugly Americans whenever they come into contact with any person from another culture, whether in America or abroad. It is easy to understand how persons from other countries could get the wrong impression of America and Americans if they have had the misfortune to meet these Ugly Americans first.

By the way, Castelul Peles (pronounced PELL-esh) is a beautiful example of the Neo-Renaissance style of architecture. It was built between 1875-1883 by King Carol I and Queen Elizabeth of Romania with their own funds. It was the summer home of the royal family and is also the final resting place of King Carol. The neighboring Castelul Pelisor was built by the beloved King Ferdinand and Queen Maria. Although both castles were royal residences, they remained accessible to the Romanian people up until the Communist party's rise to power and the dictatorship of Nicolae Ceausescu. After the 1989 revolution they were reopened to the public. Many people consider Peles to be the most beautiful castle in Europe. I agree! Anyone who has the opportunity to visit Romania or any of the surrounding countries should make Peles Castle and the nearby town of Sinaia a priority stop! To learn more about Peles and Sinaia visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peles or http://darkroompeople.com/drp7/sinaia/ .

State of the Union

After a long day at work, I sped home last night to watch President Bush's "State of the Union" address. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was looking forward to hearing what he would have to say about the current state of life in these United States. For those of you that were not privileged to hear his speech, the President's main topics were a renewed emphasis on developing non-oil-based or "alternative" fuel sources for home and automobile, Social Security and the continued impending crisis, taxes and the War on Terror. What I really want to know is "how is this going to affect the average Joe? Namely, me?" I am of the opinion that many Americans are asking themselves the same thing this morning. If all of these ideas are implemented within the next few years, am I going to be able to afford to buy a car, heat and cool my home, or someday retire?

Wherein The Friend signs on and begins to ramble ...

What, you may ask, is the reasoning behind such a silly name as "BiblioLife"? As silly as it may sound to some, part of my philosophy of life is that it is like a library. There are many opportunities to learn and a vast range of subjects to study. What we choose to study and how we use what we learn will have a drastic impact upon the overall course of our life - especially the impact we have upon others and the final outcome of our journey.

For years I have been reading the blogs of others and attempting (mostly in vain) to keep some kind of traditional diary or journal about my thoughts and experiences. You would think that the sensible solution - to combine the two - would have occurred to me sooner, wouldn't you? Alas and alack, it is only within the past several months that said solution did penetrate my thoughts and only within the past few weeks that it has come to final fruition. "Hey! I spend a significant portion of my time each week working with and around computers! Why not take a few minutes each week to write down a few of my thoughts about life, liberty, tattoos, world leaders (and would-be leaders), religion, philosophy, current events in Uzbekistan and the real meaning of pi? So, here goes ...

If anyone else out in cyberspace feels the urge to comment, laugh, cry, question, cheer or boo, please feel free!